The one that got away..

I bet you know what "Boy" I am talking about.

Every girl has that boy, your first love that is so incredibly hard to forget about.

That boy who will always have a piece of your heart.

But it is very unlikely to have that boy be the boy that you end up with.

Only in a dream world would your first love be your only love.. and if it worked out for you.. count your many blessings because you will never have to feel this pain. Sometimes you have to realize that a person can stay in your heart.. but not in your life.

Here is my screwed up 4 year relationship in a nutshell. I gave up every thing for this one special boy and it ended up coming back to bite me. No matter what crap he pulled he always had me strung along, head over heels for him. It has been a long hard road. I have lost a lot, but I have gained even more. I wouldn't take back those life lessons for anything and I am finally to a place where I am ready to move on, and learn from this past. I will never forget him and the things that he has taught me. But is time to end this never ending story, and move on to the next chapter.

I really think that this is truly one of the hardest things I have ever done. Putting so much time and effort into something, and then having it ammount to nothing is not an easy thing to swallow.The pain that you feel when your heart is broken is like no other pain. And when I am having a bad day there is nothing more I want to do than to call him. But when you know it is not going to work out, why keep hanging on?It is hard to let go. I know that it will get easier.. but I feel like it will never go away completely. I know that their will be hard days, and with each day that gets harder, I get a little bit stronger. I always wonder if 10 years from now when I am married, and have three kids. When I hear our song will I still think of him? And will it still hurt? I sure freaking hope not.

In another life I would make you stay, so I don't have to say you were the one that got away..

Hearing this song makes me think that I am not absolutely insane and that it is normal to feel these feelings. Sometimes its hard to face the music.. to face the harsh reality that it will never work out between the two of us... maybe in another life. But defiantly not in this one. So thanks, but no thanks. And if you could toss me that chunk of my heart that you a dragging around, that would be great.

watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.