Landslide

So I have always loved the song Landslide by Stevie Nicks..but tonight it had a new meaning for me. Do you ever find a song that you can relate to so much.. that you just listen to it over and over again? Lately I have been distracting myself from the numbness that I have been feeling. And to be completely honest I have never felt so alone. No matter how many people I have around me. I still feel alone and scared. When things are going bad in the high school department I have always had my family here for me but lately everyone else has so many bigger things to deal with.. but none of them include me. So I am dealing with all of my hardships alone. I am to the point in my life where all of the decisions I make now.. mold my future. And I feel like I have failed in every area. I have fallen and gotten back up before. But I recently fell hard and I am just laying here waiting for somebody to help me up. But I am the only one. It is my life now and I have to make it what I want it to be. And that scares me. Here are the lyrics..

I took my love, I took it down

I climbed a mountain and turned around

And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills

Till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?

Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Mmmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm

Well, I've been afraid of changing cause I've built my life around you.

But time makes you bolder.

Children get older, and i'm getting older too.

Take my love, take it down

ohh., climb a mountain and turn around.

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills.

well, the landslide will bring it down.

Trials can either make us weaker.. or they can make us stronger. I feel like the past few years I have been focusing on things that arent important. And yeah I have made huge mistakes .. but then I started to turn my life around.. but THEN oh what do you know SUP another trial.. the biggest trial that I have ever had to face.. and here I am back at square one. It is the scariest thing to feel as if you are not prepared for the storm that you can see coming. And to feel that I am not strong enough to past the tests that are given to me. To feel failure in every department.

Life will get better.. then harder. But I need to find solid ground to stand on so that I can become strong enough for the next one. I just need to pull it together and finish off strong.. then just move away to college and start my life and focus on my future. Because this is it.. I have learned the hard way that you can't go back and fix your mistakes.. or change others actions. I just need to find the right path and stay on it. No matter how unprepared I am or no matter how many people I have cheering me on. I am on my own. And the choices I make have to be for me.